Building Trust Without Authority: A Product Manager's Guide to Leadership

Want the full story? Listen to my complete interview with Kari Ostevik, where we discuss how she went from teaching English in France to leading product at startups that have raised over $500M, and more.

Leading without formal authority is perhaps the defining challenge of product management. It’s a role where success depends entirely on your ability to influence, guide, and align teams - all without the traditional hierarchy of direct reports. As Kari Ostevik shares from her experience, “Product managers we’re always talking about how we’re leading without authority, and that is a tricky place to be in.”

This challenge isn’t unique to product management - it’s increasingly common across modern organizations where matrix structures and cross-functional teams are the norm. But product managers face it most acutely, as they’re often responsible for outcomes without having direct control over the resources needed to achieve them.

The good news? As Kari discovered through her journey from teaching English in France to leading product teams, the principles of building trust and influence remain remarkably consistent across contexts. Whether managing a classroom of unruly students or coordinating with senior stakeholders, success comes down to establishing genuine mutual respect and alignment.

The Journey from Classroom to Product: Lessons in Leadership

Kari’s experience teaching English to young students in France proved surprisingly relevant to product leadership. “I was like really nice to everyone and they just walked all over me. I had no control of this class so then I was super strict. And they were even worse like that,” she recalls. The breakthrough came when she realized that “if we just had real mutual respect, and I listened, we got things done, we were on the same team.”

This lesson translates directly to product management, where building collaborative relationships is essential. Just as students can quickly sense inauthentic authority, team members can tell when a product manager is trying to force control rather than earn trust.

The parallel is particularly apt because, like children, professional teams may not always openly express their dissatisfaction - but their engagement and output will reflect it. Building genuine relationships and mutual respect becomes the foundation for effective leadership.

The Art of Cross-Functional Collaboration

One of the most critical skills for product managers is facilitating effective cross-functional collaboration. Kari emphasizes the importance of structured working sessions that give everyone a voice: “Some companies are really not used to working in like a working session sort of way… So it really is just the most senior, the loudest person in the room.”

To counter this, she recommends several specific techniques:

1. Give people dedicated heads-down time during meetings to contribute thoughts (sometimes with lo-fi music playing)
2. Keep sessions short and energetic to maintain engagement
3. Use structured frameworks like Crazy Eights for ideation
4. Implement dot voting to gather democratic feedback
5. Always close with clear next steps and accountability

The key is creating an environment where all voices can be heard while maintaining forward momentum. “I love working sessions,” Kari notes, “getting a cross-functional team together to talk about what that prioritization should be… and then other people can hear each other.”

Building Trust Through Data and Validation

In today’s data-driven world, trust is often built on a foundation of evidence. Kari emphasizes the importance of validation and data analysis while warning against over-reliance on metrics: “I have worked one place where I felt like we were too data-driven… when you’re so focused on certain metrics in certain time frames, I think you can be a little bit short-sighted and lose like the holistic prop of the product.”

The key is finding balance between quantitative and qualitative insights:

• Use tools like Gong to understand customer conversations
• Conduct direct user interviews for deeper insights
• Analyze behavioral data through tools like Pendo
• Maintain focus on long-term vision while validating with data
• Present findings clearly to stakeholders

This balanced approach helps build credibility with both technical and business stakeholders while ensuring decisions serve both immediate metrics and long-term goals.

Creating Psychological Safety in Product Teams

One of the most crucial elements of leading without authority is creating an environment where team members feel safe to contribute and take risks. Kari’s approach includes several key elements:

First, she prioritizes one-on-one connections: “When I start with a new team, I try to have one on ones with everyone… I want to ask them about their experience working with other product managers. There’s many different types of product managers and some people have really bad experiences.”

Second, she positions herself as an enabler rather than a controller: “I am a bit of an umbrella for you. Like I see part of my job as making sure that you can do your job.”

Finally, she emphasizes the importance of team bonding and connection: “Making sure you’re doing something fun… I have been put into a number of teams that we’re working remotely, not very connected.”

Managing Up and Across

While much of product management focuses on working with engineering and design teams, success also requires effectively managing relationships with executives and peer managers. Kari’s approach emphasizes enthusiasm coupled with rigorous validation:

“I think most important thing is making sure they feel heard and you are excited about their suggestions… being clear about how you’re gonna do that work and if you’re… Often it’s getting an idea and having to validate it and then report back on that.”

This approach allows you to maintain positive relationships while ensuring decisions are grounded in evidence rather than just hierarchy or opinion.

The Path Forward

Building trust without authority isn’t a one-time achievement - it’s an ongoing process that requires consistent attention and refinement. The key is remembering that trust is earned through a combination of competence (delivering results) and character (how you treat people along the way).

As Kari’s journey from teaching to product leadership shows, the fundamental principles of building trust and influence remain remarkably consistent across contexts. Success comes from creating genuine mutual respect, facilitating effective collaboration, and maintaining a balance between data-driven decision making and human connection.

Want to hear more insights from Kari Ostevik, including her detailed breakdown of product management techniques and how she approaches building versus buying solutions? Listen to the full interview here.